Patchy the Pirate reads a story about Squidward and SpongeBob. Squidward invents a machine he calls the Patty Gadget, and he insists that Mr. Krabs fire SpongeBob because it can make Patties faster and Mr. Krabs does not have to pay for it. But SpongeBob declares Krabby Patty War against the Patty Gadget. First, SpongeBob seems to be faster, but the machine is not a easy challenge for him. Everyone was enjoying the battle (except for Patrick who had to go to the bathroom). Squidward then bursts out the handle of the Patty Gadget and SpongeBob finishes the beast off by battling hundreds of Krabby Patties against it. However, SpongeBob faints after winning the battle. Everyone thinks that SpongeBob was buried, but it was actually the Gadget..
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At the Krusty Krab, a customer wants to sit at a certain table. Two elderly people (Old Man Jenkins and Mary) are already sitting there. SpongeBob said the customer could sit at the table when they are done. The guy said he would pay $5 if he gets it now. Mr. Krabs agrees with this offer, and kicks the old people out. Mr. Krabs then says "Money talks" and SpongeBob askes "Did it tell you to kick those old people out?" Mr. Krabs likes the idea and wishes he could talk to money.